what do i know of holy

So I think it's pretty cool how things have worked out lately for me.

I found myself drawn towards the Timothys (which I love) and read them. Then moved in natural progression to Titus. But then found myself stuck because I've read the New Testament so many times that everything felt pretty fresh. I started reading Acts again, but two nights into decided that didn't feel like what I was supposed to be doing at the moment. So I pulled out my phone and found a random number website. I told it to select a number between 1 and whatever the last page number in my Bible is with the idea that I would read where I ended up. Well, it sent me to 2 Samuel, which I read what was on that page that night and found myself wanting it more in context. So the next night, I decided I should start 1 Samuel and read through it and 2 Samuel. I started it but the previous night had caused me to face some serious questions. I'm very uncomfortable with questions and doubts that I can't answer (due to my own arrogance I think). Anyways, so I was at Bible Study and started talking to someone there about it who mentioned (as I said in the last post) "Well, you just have to have in your mind who God is and take it from there." And that made me decide to start at the beginning and read through the Bible looking for all of who God is and not the mere pieces I've pieced together in mind of who I think He should be. God isn't subjective. He is who He is, and He's never been anything different.

Anyways, then Brittany loaned us Crazy Love and the first three chapters were extremely relevant to questions I've had and things I'm trying to discover. Unfortunately, I only made it halfway through it before having to leave it with Josh.

Then today, I heard this on the radio for the first time and connected with it in the second line. In fact, as soon as I heard the second line, I pulled out my phone and made it my Facebook status. It felt like someone had gotten in my head, organized the thoughts, and put them into a beautiful song. And now it's on repeat on my iTunes.

God is good.

"What do I know of Holy?" - Addison Road

I've made you promises a thousand times
I've tried to hear from heaven
But I talk the whole time
I think I made you too small
I've never feared you at all, no
If you touched my face would I know you
Looked into my eyes could I behold you

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

I guess I thought that I had you figured out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How you were mighty to save
But those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who you might be
The slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

What do I know of Holy
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame
And a God who gave life its name
What do I know of Holy
Of the One who the angels praise
All creation knows your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

my eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things

I haven't written about spiritual stuff lately because I'm attempting to read through parts of the Old Testament which raises a lot of questions and very little answers for me.

I spoke with a friend about it tonight and they mentioned having a firm knowledge in your head of who God is and then taking it from there. It made me realize that most often I associate God with love, hope, mercy, grace, forgiveness, salvation, but that God is more than just those things. Therefore, I think I am going to halt within the book of 1 Samuel, go back to the beginning, and begin reading the Bible with the primary goal of discovering who God is. I hope to be diligent in this and keep a journal where I can write down everything that God is said to be or shown to be as I go along. I think a lot of doubts or internal spiritual battles stem from not having a firm faith in all that God is. I think if I go through and put everything down where I can look back on it, it will help a lot as I encounter things I don't understand.

Anyway, that's my plan, so hopefully I'll be finding more to say.

Ciao.

short

We close on the house Wednesday. Hooray!

Life is still very busy.

The end.