did i mentioned i moved?

whitneysewell.tumblr.com

oh, oh, oh, if we'd only known

one day, you'll be old, bald, and wrinkly

but i'll still want to hold your hand

one day, we'll rock on the front porch for hours

having conversations we don't understand

but for now, we're young and we're in love

and we're eating ramen and drinking tea

but for now, we're struggling to buy couches

and we're wondering how life is gonna be

and we'll say oh, oh, oh - if we'd only known

things might have turned a different way

and we'll say oh, oh, oh - i wouldn't change a thing though

because i woke up to your face every day

one day, we'll laugh at all the little silly things

we argued about along the way

one day, we'll wonder why we ever had a plan

and we'll be glad that plan went astray

but for now, we're living and we're learning

and we're trying to fit everything in

but for now, we're discussing the pros and cons of doorknobs

and wondering when life's gonna begin

and we'll say oh, oh, oh - if we'd only known

things might have turned a different way

and we'll say oh, oh, oh - i wouldn't change a thing though

because i woke up to your face every day

but for now, we're silly stupid happy

and it's a blessing beyond what we could dream

but for now, we're taking it one day at a time

and knowing we've got a lot of life to see

stuff so far

So just doing a brief post about what I've pulled out of my journey through the Old Testament so far...

What the Bible says about God: direct excerpts from NLV Genesis - some of Exodus. Not cited (although they are in my journal.) The stuff in bold is stuff it shows God specifically saying about Himself.

God created. Spirit of God. Let us... in our image, to be like ourselves. Like us, knowing good and evil. The Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on earth. It broke His heart. I am El-Shaddai - God Almighty. I will always be your God and the God of the descendants after you. The Lord kept His word. The Eternal God. The Lord of heaven and earth. I am the God of your father Abraham. I am the God who appeared to you at Bethel, the place where you anointed the pillar of stone and made your vow to me. In fact, if not for the God of my father - the God of Abraham and the fearsome God of Isaac - you would have sent me away empty-handed. I call on the God of our ancestors - the God of your grandfather Abraham and the God of my grandfather Nahor - to serve as a judge between us. The fearsome God of his father Isaac. The God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau. The God who answered my prayers when I was in distress. He has been with me wherever I have gone. I am El Shaddai - God Almighty. The Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him His faithful love. God can tell you what it means and set you at ease. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors. So it was God who sent me here, not you. I am God, the God of your father. God Almighty. God Almighty. May the God before whom my grandfather Abraham and my father, Isaac, walked - the God who has been my shepherd all my life, to this very day, the Angel who has redeemed me from all harm. I trust in you for salvation, O Lord. The hands of the Mighty One of Jacob, by the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel. Don't be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. I am the God of your father - the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. I will be with you. I AM who I AM. Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you. Yahweh, the God of your ancestors - the God o Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob - has sent me to you. This my eternal name, my name to remember for all generations. The Lord, the God of the Hebrews. Who makes a person's mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak and I will instruct you in what to say. I am Yahweh - the Lord. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob as El-Shaddai - God Almighty, but I did not reveal my name, Yahweh, to them. I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and acts of great judgment. I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know htat I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. I am the Lord. I am the Lord! When I raise my powerful hand and bring out the Israelites, the Egyptians will know that I am Lord. The Lord, the God of the Hebrews. I will show you that I am the Lord. This is the finger of God. Then you will know that I am the Lord and that I am present even in the heart of your land. The Lord, the God of the Hebrews. Then you will know that there is no one like me in all the earth.

what do i know of holy

So I think it's pretty cool how things have worked out lately for me.

I found myself drawn towards the Timothys (which I love) and read them. Then moved in natural progression to Titus. But then found myself stuck because I've read the New Testament so many times that everything felt pretty fresh. I started reading Acts again, but two nights into decided that didn't feel like what I was supposed to be doing at the moment. So I pulled out my phone and found a random number website. I told it to select a number between 1 and whatever the last page number in my Bible is with the idea that I would read where I ended up. Well, it sent me to 2 Samuel, which I read what was on that page that night and found myself wanting it more in context. So the next night, I decided I should start 1 Samuel and read through it and 2 Samuel. I started it but the previous night had caused me to face some serious questions. I'm very uncomfortable with questions and doubts that I can't answer (due to my own arrogance I think). Anyways, so I was at Bible Study and started talking to someone there about it who mentioned (as I said in the last post) "Well, you just have to have in your mind who God is and take it from there." And that made me decide to start at the beginning and read through the Bible looking for all of who God is and not the mere pieces I've pieced together in mind of who I think He should be. God isn't subjective. He is who He is, and He's never been anything different.

Anyways, then Brittany loaned us Crazy Love and the first three chapters were extremely relevant to questions I've had and things I'm trying to discover. Unfortunately, I only made it halfway through it before having to leave it with Josh.

Then today, I heard this on the radio for the first time and connected with it in the second line. In fact, as soon as I heard the second line, I pulled out my phone and made it my Facebook status. It felt like someone had gotten in my head, organized the thoughts, and put them into a beautiful song. And now it's on repeat on my iTunes.

God is good.

"What do I know of Holy?" - Addison Road

I've made you promises a thousand times
I've tried to hear from heaven
But I talk the whole time
I think I made you too small
I've never feared you at all, no
If you touched my face would I know you
Looked into my eyes could I behold you

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

I guess I thought that I had you figured out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How you were mighty to save
But those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who you might be
The slightest hint of you brought me down to my knees

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

What do I know of Holy
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame
And a God who gave life its name
What do I know of Holy
Of the One who the angels praise
All creation knows your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love

What do I know of you
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along your ocean
Are you fire, are you fury
Are you sacred, are you beautiful
So what do I know
What do I know of holy

my eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things

I haven't written about spiritual stuff lately because I'm attempting to read through parts of the Old Testament which raises a lot of questions and very little answers for me.

I spoke with a friend about it tonight and they mentioned having a firm knowledge in your head of who God is and then taking it from there. It made me realize that most often I associate God with love, hope, mercy, grace, forgiveness, salvation, but that God is more than just those things. Therefore, I think I am going to halt within the book of 1 Samuel, go back to the beginning, and begin reading the Bible with the primary goal of discovering who God is. I hope to be diligent in this and keep a journal where I can write down everything that God is said to be or shown to be as I go along. I think a lot of doubts or internal spiritual battles stem from not having a firm faith in all that God is. I think if I go through and put everything down where I can look back on it, it will help a lot as I encounter things I don't understand.

Anyway, that's my plan, so hopefully I'll be finding more to say.

Ciao.

short

We close on the house Wednesday. Hooray!

Life is still very busy.

The end.

the life i have now, it is only the beginning

School has started back, and everything has definitely been a little chaotic. I did get to drop a class though, so that helps tremendously.

I'm in a social media class this semester that actually requires blogging. Unfortunately, this blog doesn't count. :/ Either way, I think it's pretty cool. I'm also in a criminal psychology class that might scare the crap out of me by the end of the semester. The professor will say things like "Studies have shown people who watch crime shows like CSI, etc., are more afraid of violent things happening to them and view the world as a more dangerous place than it actually is." Then she'll follow it 30 minutes later with a story about people in Nashville prisons for sex crimes and dismemberment with anti-social personality disorder or schizophrenia. Not just one or two people, but several. She'll end the story with "And these people get out! They walk the streets of Nashville everyday!" Cue the trembling.

Personal selling is frustrating for me. I'm interested in the subject, but it's my only lecture-style class and it falls between 2:40 and 4:05 which happens to be when I am the most tired throughout the day. I'm definitely not on top of my game in there. And I used to work for the professor, so I know he expects more of me. :/ So far, I messed up the formatting of an assignment and I don't have the book in time for the next one so he's having to lend one to me. Blah. In my defense, the book should be here Wednesday. The assignment is due Tuesday.

Campaigns is fine. I'm the account executive which means I have the most responsibility within the group, but I also am the only one up for extra credit. Plus, it's what I want to do in my career eventually. It's incredibly time-consuming though. Tomorrow will be spent on campaign research and my weekly Professional Writing assignments. I'm taking Professional Writing online, but she requires two thoroughly written assignments per week. That's kind of a lot considering the workload in the rest of my classes. I'm hoping it will help me out in my career though. My campaigns/ad management/copywriting/survey of ad/ad club faculty advisor/professor recommended it. And yes, that is all the same person.

I'm struggling with ad club. None of the speakers or the client have gotten back to me and I kind of need everything together by Tuesday. It's stressful, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

I'm missing church and bible study terribly. I don't really realize what a difference they make until I haven't been exposed in a month. They both stimulate me spiritually and without them, I'm feeling a little stagnant. I'm reading my Bible and everything, but it just feels like a piece is missing. Christian radio has really my biggest outlet over the last month. Listening to the words gets me thinking and praying. Not to mention, I get a lot less annoyed while driving.

Nothing else to say really, so I'll leave you with the lyrics that are stuck in my head.

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I thought he'd be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything
I've a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I'm not wrong
That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn't looking for something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I've never known
That I've never felt before

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time
In my life